Tuesday, June 17, 2008

But there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother

Ok, first of all, I just have to tell you how much I covet a laptop. Mark brought his home tonight and since we have a wireless connection here, I grabbed it, crawled up on my bed all propped up with pillows (in other words, extremely comfy) and commenced surfing the net. On second thought, maybe I'd better not get one of these...
Now, since I don't have the brain cells functioning at the moment to make a smooth transition, I will go ahead and spill it that we have had a tough last few days. The bottom line is that one of our closest friend's Mom passed away over the weekend after a very short battle with cancer.
We found out early Sunday morning of her homegoing, and while we rejoice that she had the unimaginable privilege of dancing in the presence of her beloved Savior on Father's Day, quite frankly, the hearts of those that loved her the most are shattered.
It was so hard to watch my brokenhearted friend yesterday. She couldn't even lift her teary face out of her hands as she travelled behind her Mama's hearse in the funeral procession. Mark and my Mom took off of work along with several of our old friends to go be with our sister and her precious family, but that feeling of helplessness as you watch them in their intense grief is terrible. Knowing that nothing anyone can say or do is going to take it away is gut-wrenching when you love someone and your natural instinct is to "fix it".
I know that my friend loves her Jesus the way her Mama did (does) and I know that He probably purposely and jealously won't allow any true comfort apart from Him, and when I really wrap my mind around that, it is the most kind thing He can do. It is His express right to make sure that when we are at our lowest that no thing and no person can get in there and do the intimate binding of our battered hearts. What a beautiful thing to have a Savior who won't let us settle for less.
Now, I just have to figure out practically how to help. Any suggestions (apart from food, because, land sakes alive, she doesn't need any more of that....)?

7 comments:

Gotta GROW with it said...

what you said about God being our only comfort was all so profound and very, very true. i loved what you wrote.

after i lost my mom to cancer i know the one thing i needed was for someone to remember me after the months go by and life "returns" to normal for everyone. that's when it was quiet and i needed someone to hug me and just listen.

i'm sorry for your loss. as i get older though my heart yearns for my own turn to go home! praise God we have such incredible hope in that!

Emily said...

I agree with doing things AFTER the rush goes by. Maybe just sit and then ask her funny or memorable stories about her mom. That would be something I'd want folks to ask ME. I wouldn't want to bore folks, so having them ask would be wonderful.

Halfmoon Girl said...

I agree. My ex's sister commited suicide, and my ex mom in law has shared with me that it hurt when people forgot her pain, when they avoided her in public because they were too uncomfortable. She wanted people to remember and talk to her about her daughter. Remember her mom's bd, send flowers, drop by for tea, hug her longer. Thanks for the words of comfort in this post. I will remember your friend in prayer. A friend of mine has a sister who is at this moment dying of cancer in the hospital. She is leaving behind 2 little 9 year old boys who father left them last year as he was having an affair. My heart is breaking for them all and we are all still praying for a miracle.

Andrea said...

What about a margarita? I have had a griefing friend and all she wanted was a margarita and people probably thought it was inappropriate, but it gave her comfort to just forget her loss and to just have a little fun.
(And no she didn't turn in to an achoholic! It was just a one time thing...)
So see if your sweet girl wants a margarita!

I will be praying for her comfort!

Andrea said...

What about a margarita? I have had a griefing friend and all she wanted was a margarita and people probably thought it was inappropriate, but it gave her comfort to just forget her loss and to just have a little fun.
(And no she didn't turn in to an achoholic! It was just a one time thing...)
So see if your sweet girl wants a margarita!

I will be praying for her comfort!

Under the Florida Sun said...

I walked closely alongside a dear friend after her son died due to a choking accident.
Words do escape you. It is hard.
Just listen
Tell her your there to just sit and listen.
When she would say questions out loud like "Why did this happen?" I realized I didn't have to have the answer.. she just wanted me to listen.

Tell her to be honest with you. To let you know when she just needs to vent things out and doesn't want to hear explanations. Sometimes they just need to talk and cry.

Hug her a lot. Pray with her-out loud. Pray scripture with her.

Call her up, ask her if it's ok if you stop by and bring her her favorite coffee and just be there.

Hope that helps. Will be praying for you too!

KarenW said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's mother. I don't have any advice to add but I'll pray for her, and you too. God bless.