Tis the Season

Yesterday, I got the bright idea to take Julianna to the mall for a girls day. I think I must have had a horrible lapse in judgement or something because I am pretty sure that all of the people within a 300 mile radius decided to shop there at that precise moment, too.
There were absolutely no free parking places and an over-abundance of rude people. I couldn't believe it when two cars, who were actually simultaneously trying to cut me off, just about hit each other, so they started honking and making rude gestures between themselves while we all sat there and waited. It was nearly the proverbial straw that almost made me punt the whole idea and head home, until I spied a shopping bag laden woman heading for her car. I whipped my van around and stalked her halfway to the horizon to get my space already being warmed up by her cute little sports car.
I sat patiently while she unloaded her stuff into every crevice she had available, and every now and then, she would glance over her shoulder to see if I was going to go anywhere. No siree, not on your life. I will stay here till the end of Christmas, if I have to.
She finally got in and put on her reverse lights when some middle-aged man whose wife probably told him that it would be better for them to go to the mall than watch football, turned the corner.
He had a vendetta.
So did I.
We locked eyes.
We each tightened our grip on our respective steering wheels and continued to glare over the tops of our heads. His next move was going to determine my future as a free citizen. She backed out, and for a split second, I could see that he really wanted to steal my spot. I could practically see his thoughts as he weighed his options at that moment.
He looked at the space.
He looked back at me.
And then he looked at the floor, defeated, as I turned in.
Mwwwaahhhaaahaaaaa!!!!
Bless his heart, and Merry Christmas.