Sunday, December 2, 2007

Tis the Season

Yesterday, I got the bright idea to take Julianna to the mall for a girls day. I think I must have had a horrible lapse in judgement or something because I am pretty sure that all of the people within a 300 mile radius decided to shop there at that precise moment, too.
There were absolutely no free parking places and an over-abundance of rude people. I couldn't believe it when two cars, who were actually simultaneously trying to cut me off, just about hit each other, so they started honking and making rude gestures between themselves while we all sat there and waited. It was nearly the proverbial straw that almost made me punt the whole idea and head home, until I spied a shopping bag laden woman heading for her car. I whipped my van around and stalked her halfway to the horizon to get my space already being warmed up by her cute little sports car.
I sat patiently while she unloaded her stuff into every crevice she had available, and every now and then, she would glance over her shoulder to see if I was going to go anywhere. No siree, not on your life. I will stay here till the end of Christmas, if I have to.
She finally got in and put on her reverse lights when some middle-aged man whose wife probably told him that it would be better for them to go to the mall than watch football, turned the corner.
He had a vendetta.
So did I.
We locked eyes.
We each tightened our grip on our respective steering wheels and continued to glare over the tops of our heads. His next move was going to determine my future as a free citizen. She backed out, and for a split second, I could see that he really wanted to steal my spot. I could practically see his thoughts as he weighed his options at that moment.
He looked at the space.
He looked back at me.
And then he looked at the floor, defeated, as I turned in.
Mwwwaahhhaaahaaaaa!!!!
Bless his heart, and Merry Christmas.

11 comments:

Kathleen aka Coffee Mom said...

victory!!!

jewlsntexas said...

Man, what is it about the holidays that brings out the absolute worst in everyone!
Good for you.
I'd rather shop online.
Hey - thanks for delurking! Nice to know you're there!

vintagechick said...

good for you!! i can't do the mall this time of year. i think i would just cry.

Cindy said...

You make me laugh.
And I can't relate. Nope, not one bit. ;)

Emily said...

hahah

That's the spirit...err....WELL, it sure made me laugh.

reformed grits said...

You are evil!
But I like you anyhow cuz I'm evil. He was probably in a wheelchair. Nice going.

The Bullocks said...

Poor fellow...he didn't get to watch football and he didn't have a parking spot!
Your story reminded me of "Fried Green Tomatoes" Have you seen it?

Halfmoon Girl said...

Tawanda!!! (Did you watch Fried Green Tomatoes?) Score one for the Gayle. Way to claim that spot. It was not gentlemanly for him to even challenge you! Oh, I see that someone else thought of Fried Green Tomatoes too!

ConservaChick said...

Gotta love that Christmas spirit! HA! I've so been there! When I was pregnant, I was just hormonally challenged enough, that if someone stole my spot, I'd find them in the store, and make sure they KNEW they stole a spot form a VERY pregnant (and grouchy) lady. SHAME on them. ~K

ConservaChick said...

I was going to e-mail you, but I see your e-mail address isn't listed.
Anyway, I just read your comment at my blog and wanted to thank you for your openess and honesty. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has struggled in this way. I will be praying for you Gayle. My e-mail is posted on my profile if you ever want to talk. ~Karlie

Caroline said...

I thought the same thing...Fried Green tomatoes, "You may be younger but I'm older and have more insurance." HA!

Hey...how did you get deleted from my bloglines? I'm back now!