Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Just the Facts, Please, Ma'am

In the spirit of not griping, I will give you a numbered run-down of today's events. Draw your own conclusions...

1. Woke up this morning, late, to go to a very important required meeting.

2. Went to put my contacts in. They were not there. They just....weren't.....there. The case was, the contacts weren't. So apparently we have a contact eating monster. I suppose that's not entirely out of the realm of possibilities, right?

3. Made it to the meeting on time. Score.

4. 3 hours later I am leaving the meeting because I have a wicked migraine
brewing. I won't go there. I just won't. But suffice it to say, I didn't get my Chick-Fil-A for lunch either.

5. As I am driving home, all I can think of is how I am going to go lie down on my bed with a tall glass of ice water in my nice, cool bedroom for about an hour so that I can be refreshed before getting back to work.

6. Those dreams were quickly dashed as I walked in the front door only to realize that it was as sweltering inside my house as it was outside my house. We live in Alabama y'all. Trust me when I say, there is no "cracking the windows to let in the breeze". Breezes and temperatures below 95 degrees are non-existent here in these parts in the Summertime.

7. So I took my dog, my kids, and my migraine, and I headed to my Mom's all the way across town.

8. But before I got there, I remembered that I won an expensive piece of curriculum on Ebay for a very reasonable price. Guess where the seller is from? Right chere in my town. So she sweetly met up with me so that I could get the goods without having to pay (the kinda high) shipping fee. Bonus!

9. I drive on over to my Mom's, unload everything, then realize that I don't have the key. Mark does, and he's in the big city. I think I may have had a minor meltdown here, but there were no witnesses (well at least none that don't depend upon me for their food), so maybe not.

10. Big bunch of shenanigans later, I finally get my mitts on a key, and we enter the blessed temperature that is my Mom's home. Me, the dog, the kids, and of course, my migraine, which at this point is bigger than all of us.

11. I get the kids settled and I lie down on the couch for 10.3 seconds before my phone rings. It's Mark saying that he has wrecked his truck.

12. He thinks that the damage at this point is cosmetic and he's fine, but a little shaken.

13. He is now on his way home, so that he and one of our friends can work on the A.C.. I beg him to make a pit stop at Chick-Fil-A, because we are starving, and bring it to Mom's before he goes all the way home. He totally does that, which means he is 6,578 kinds of awesome.

14. After being stopped by 2, count 'em 2, trains, I finally hear my man pulling up out front loaded down with the nummy-nums. So I whip open the front door only to find a headless bird on the front porch. A HEADLESS BIRD.

What do you think was the first thing that popped into my mind? Why, all of you, of course. Not because you remind me of dismembered animals or anything; Rather, I have great affection for sharing the bizarro things that happen to me, here, with all of you. It almost makes me giddy, in fact. My quagmire is that I often feel the urge to provide proof, so I turned on my heal toward my camera (which you know, resides in my purse, for just such times), but then I decided that you would probably like me better this time if I refrained.

Hopefully, we are far enough along in our relationship that you can just believe me when I tell you that there was a freaky headless bird on my Mom's front porch, and simply trust me that proof would not be prudent at this juncture.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah....

15. We ate, Mark went home and rigged the A.C. until Friday when some important parts will be replaced. Now here we all sit (well the children are finally in bed) at 10 p.m. while the house is slowly cooling down. We are at a brisk 88 degrees in here right now. And I am going to bed after I hit publish. Me, my migraine, and my hubby, where I plan to dream of Alaska and Advil all night.

Looking forward to tomorrow,


carrie said...

the times. they are not good.

that's all I have to conclude about that.

Trista said...

Oh bless your little heart! Sounds like you've had one of THOSE days!

Caroline said...

Headless bird. Only you, my friend.

I wish you had bombarded my was somewhat cool. ;-)

KarenW said...

At least you are cured of your blogger's block! LOL I hope your migraine is gone and you're feeling much better.

Jenni at talking hairdryer said...

Love hearing about the bizzaro. Seeing the headless bizzaro? Not so much. Thanks for thinking of us. I hope your head is better soon.

Anonymous said...

Whew! I hate days like that.

Mocha with Linda said...

Oh migraines are the pits, especially when you have to live life in the midst of them. Makes me wish I were the headless bird soemtimes!

Hope you get cooled down quickly and have a better day!!

Krista said...

I'm kind of disappointed that you shared a story that funny and didn't publish a disgusting picture! J/K I love hearing about your bizarro world.

Keep the coming. I saw a bird with a pretty, red head this morning,

Drewe Llyn said...

I sure hope today is better! I live in central Mississippi. I totally understand "no breeze" to let in!!!!!! I'm sweating in my house and our A/C works just fine! Take care!

Andrea said...

Oh my word Gayle...what a crazy day!!!!

Duckygirl said...

I'm hoping your house is nice and cool this morning so you can enjoy a nice big cup of steaming coffee :)

Here's to a better day today!


Growin' with it! said...

brothththththter! what a pitiful day. and the headless chick-fil-A order...HA HA! just kiddin'. do hope you are cooler today and pumpin the caffeine to ward off all migranes. what happened w/ the contacts btw?

Angela said...

Oh my, what a day. I can't decide which is worse - no Chik-Fil-A or no A/C.

Hey! Did you hear? We're getting a cool front! We'll see 91 degrees on Saturday! (YAY!)

Here's a ((hug)) ~ hoping your chicken-eating self is enjoying a cool, albeit manufactured, breeze today.

Emily said...

I read your post sadly shaking my head...then I snorted at the headless bird. HEADLESS BIRD? What? It's our Father giving you the most hilarious ending to your blog post ever. no one can make that one up. :)

so sorry about your head my friend. Ouch.

Lora Lynn said...

yikes. hope today is going better.

Halfmoon Girl said...

And I thought I had a bad moment when I discovered I had no wallet at the grocery store check out. At least I wasn't being attacked on a front door step by a headless feathered thing! That is just bizarre!!! Hope today is smoother.

beyond this moment said...

I'm laughing with you, not at you, I promise! =)

Sorry for the migraine and the crazy day and the headless bird. Jealous of the Chick-fil-a. We don't have them here. =(

Grace & Peace to you,

Under the Florida Sun said...

Sounds like a crazy day to me.
Glad you survived.
Love the headless bird part.. I've had days like that but mine include dogs that rolled in wild turkey poop.

DidiLyn said...

Such an enjoyable story. How many times in your life do yu get to say "I opened the door and there was a headless bird."
I only wish it had happened to me first, my friend.
(But I'm sorry about the migain. That had the blog-ruining potential.)