Just the Facts, Please, Ma'am

In the spirit of not griping, I will give you a numbered run-down of today's events. Draw your own conclusions...

1. Woke up this morning, late, to go to a very important required meeting.

2. Went to put my contacts in. They were not there. They just....weren't.....there. The case was, the contacts weren't. So apparently we have a contact eating monster. I suppose that's not entirely out of the realm of possibilities, right?

3. Made it to the meeting on time. Score.

4. 3 hours later I am leaving the meeting because I have a wicked migraine
brewing. I won't go there. I just won't. But suffice it to say, I didn't get my Chick-Fil-A for lunch either.

5. As I am driving home, all I can think of is how I am going to go lie down on my bed with a tall glass of ice water in my nice, cool bedroom for about an hour so that I can be refreshed before getting back to work.

6. Those dreams were quickly dashed as I walked in the front door only to realize that it was as sweltering inside my house as it was outside my house. We live in Alabama y'all. Trust me when I say, there is no "cracking the windows to let in the breeze". Breezes and temperatures below 95 degrees are non-existent here in these parts in the Summertime.

7. So I took my dog, my kids, and my migraine, and I headed to my Mom's all the way across town.

8. But before I got there, I remembered that I won an expensive piece of curriculum on Ebay for a very reasonable price. Guess where the seller is from? Right chere in my town. So she sweetly met up with me so that I could get the goods without having to pay (the kinda high) shipping fee. Bonus!

9. I drive on over to my Mom's, unload everything, then realize that I don't have the key. Mark does, and he's in the big city. I think I may have had a minor meltdown here, but there were no witnesses (well at least none that don't depend upon me for their food), so maybe not.

10. Big bunch of shenanigans later, I finally get my mitts on a key, and we enter the blessed temperature that is my Mom's home. Me, the dog, the kids, and of course, my migraine, which at this point is bigger than all of us.

11. I get the kids settled and I lie down on the couch for 10.3 seconds before my phone rings. It's Mark saying that he has wrecked his truck.

12. He thinks that the damage at this point is cosmetic and he's fine, but a little shaken.

13. He is now on his way home, so that he and one of our friends can work on the A.C.. I beg him to make a pit stop at Chick-Fil-A, because we are starving, and bring it to Mom's before he goes all the way home. He totally does that, which means he is 6,578 kinds of awesome.

14. After being stopped by 2, count 'em 2, trains, I finally hear my man pulling up out front loaded down with the nummy-nums. So I whip open the front door only to find a headless bird on the front porch. A HEADLESS BIRD.

What do you think was the first thing that popped into my mind? Why, all of you, of course. Not because you remind me of dismembered animals or anything; Rather, I have great affection for sharing the bizarro things that happen to me, here, with all of you. It almost makes me giddy, in fact. My quagmire is that I often feel the urge to provide proof, so I turned on my heal toward my camera (which you know, resides in my purse, for just such times), but then I decided that you would probably like me better this time if I refrained.

Hopefully, we are far enough along in our relationship that you can just believe me when I tell you that there was a freaky headless bird on my Mom's front porch, and simply trust me that proof would not be prudent at this juncture.

So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah....

15. We ate, Mark went home and rigged the A.C. until Friday when some important parts will be replaced. Now here we all sit (well the children are finally in bed) at 10 p.m. while the house is slowly cooling down. We are at a brisk 88 degrees in here right now. And I am going to bed after I hit publish. Me, my migraine, and my hubby, where I plan to dream of Alaska and Advil all night.

Looking forward to tomorrow,