Twelve years ago today, I started this journey called Motherhood. On that day, I thought I had it all together. I read all the books and had my parenting plan mapped out pretty precisely. I even looked disdainfully during my pregnancy at some of those parents in Walmart who weren't doing it as well as I would.
And then he came home.
It took me all of 3.5 seconds to realize that I was indeed THE most unqualified human being on the planet, nay the universe, for this job. One thing was for sure though, what I lacked in qualification I made up for in pure, unadulterated love. This little person was mine and I felt something so new and fierce that I would give my very life to protect his. His being evoked such emotion that I could barely contain it.
His birth was one of the 2 things that God used to open my eyes to see my desperate need for a Savior. He used the deep love that I had for my child to show me that He, as my Father, felt that way (and infinitely more) about me. I needed that, and I welcomed Him into my life shortly after I welcomed my boy.
Ty is my guinea pig kid. All of the twists and turns of parenting are first tried out on him. We have done alright in some situations, thus far, and we have failed miserably in many more. It seems kind of hard that this whole process is a "learn as you go" deal, but I have a sneaking suspicion that God wanted it that way so that we would rely on Him all the more. I just hope that when it's time for Ty to spread his wings and fly that he won't need too much therapy.
I love you so much my sweet, precious, beautiful boy. I can't even believe how fast time has flown. "They" said that it would, but I guess I needed to experience it for myself. You have such a quick wit and you make me laugh unlike any other kid on the planet. You find it hilarious to rile your brothers and sister up, but your heart is a tender one. I watch you process profound truths at an age where all your Mama cared about was what she would wear to school the next day. You love and admire your Daddy more than any other person and I love watching you become a young man who reminds me so much of him.
"And this is my prayer, that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blamelesss until the day of Christ. Filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God." Philippians 1:9-11
Happy 12th birthday, Ty Michael. We love you like crazy.