I've tried just about every kind of kindling that I can think of; paper, pine straw, extremely dried out branches and a good dose of prayer with some matches, but nothing is making this fire really ignite. I've blown on that little ash and on the lit pine straw until I am, quite literally, dizzy, but it keeps dying out after only a minute or so.
What in the world am I doing wrong? I am half tempted to just give up and walk away because it seems useless, but my stubbornness won't let me. I know that this little ash is capable of creating a massive fire, and I also know that if my pyro hubby were to walk in here and blow on this same little ash, we would all have to stand back because of the heat.
And then I start to cry.
Not because I am some big wimp who can't take not being able to get a measly fire started (after all there is gasoline in the shed if I really wanted to prove my fire making ability....and don't put it past me). It's because I just cannot escape how this is a perfect analogy of my walk with my Father lately.
It seems that no matter what I do, I can't fan my little ember into a badly needed flame. I'm stale, I'm weary, I'm distracted, I'm overwhelmed, I'm miserable and I'm weak. Among other things. I'm trying to give those over, but I have a tendency to snatch them back and roll in it a little more.
Do I believe I will come up out of this pit? Do I know that my little ash has tons of hope attached to it? You betcha. Remember, I'm stubborn and thankfully, so is my Father's love. I know where He wants me, I just have to get there, one puff of air at a time.