Monday, September 8, 2008

An End to the Whimsy

You know what? I totally hate change. Not the "change" that entails giving me some of my hard earned money back. Indeed, I like that kind of change. No, I am talking about the rolling-with-it variety. Hate it. And I hate it because I STINK at it. To the high Heavens, in fact.

We have had alot of change around here at the beginning of this school year. I have started to keep a little fellow while his Mom goes back to work for the first time. He is such a little sweetie and truthfully, he is one of the best behaved toddlers that I have ever been around. Do I love him and my new-found job? You betcha! Am I at a loss for how to incorporate him into our brand new schedule? Oh yeah.

Speaking of our brand new schedule, we have started a homeschooling co-op for the first time ever. This has taken a LOAD of planning responsibility off of me, which was really needed, AND it has added a great schedule with accountability, which is always a good thing for this Schedule Non-Participator.

HOWEVER. It is change. And it is change of mammoth proportions.

I will add here that I can create a schedule that, on paper, can make this place run like a well-oiled machine. Creating has nev-ah been this gal's issue. It's the sticking to it that I usually kick to the curb after 2.5 days. Doing that has a habit of keeping things pretty status quo around here. Status quo wasn't exactly bad, but it could have been better, hence the CHANGE. Follow?

So here we are at the point of my usual habit of punting, and I'm stuck. I knew I would be, and I actually planned it this way, but I still hate it. Honestly, I will continue to hate it until it becomes the new normal. I firmly believe that 5:45 a.m. and I WILL make friends and that I WILL learn to conform to a schedule for my day like 85% of the rest of the adults on the planet.



Just Me'n Mine said...

Hey my friend,

You haven't punted yet. I am proud.

We started our first day of co-op and it was wonderful. The prep for it was HIGHLY stressful but worth it, I can honestly admit that now that it is over. Last night when I fell asleep on the couch after shoving supply boxes and binders with dividers and loose leaf papers to the floor, then woke up to "get ready for bed" and couldn't SLEEP(!), well, the whole thing wasn't feeling so favorable. Yes, I know I probably broke all kinds of grammar rules in that last run on sentence but I don't care!

So what's my point? Mmmmm....not sure. Have you ever been just wiped out from something that you persevered in because you knew it was the thing to do, and though you can't point to one particular level of high achievement other than the fact that it was completed, you just feel good? You feel good because you KNOW for once, you have connected with something that is definately God's purpose for your own little family.

Forgive me, I think I just blogged on your comment page.

I love you girl and you will do the right thing because you love Him and He will confirm it all to you.


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KarenW said...

I totally understand your loathing of change. It's been my life for the last couple of years. It's become my "normal" and I don't like it! I want a real normal - whatever that is.

Krista said...

Change isn't easy but change is good! You will adjust and then you will love this schedule.

On another note, thanks for your encouragement throug our emails the other day.

Doing better,

Michelle Bentham said...

I can totally relate. I can look all put together and organized on the outside, but get inside my office space or open a closet door in my house and I look like a mess.

It is better these days. Funny how I can administrate some things well and compromise in the areas of my personal existence.

I try to make to-do lists and schedule, but one thing I have learned is a schedule typically means that I inevitably will be late. How does that work? If I don't schedule - I finish on time or ahead of the curve.

Anyway, I'm praying for you and looking forward to observing your journey, maybe I can learn something... Blessings.

Andrea said...

Oh Gayle...I feel your pain.
I am totally not a morning person and I hate having the same daily routine day in and day out.
But, as you know I used to teach 4th grade, so I had to deal with both of those issues.
God will get you through it somehow and you will be thankful for the change later on.
I'll be praying that things get easier!

javamamma said...

I had to make friends with 5:45am last year. This year, I'm blessed that I don't have to have the kids AND me ready by 7:45 (hubby takes all kids to school, everyday) so 6:30 is pretty nice.

But my perfect wakeup time is more like 8 or 8:30. Summertime is glorious!

Anonymous said...

I so hear ya Gayle! I plan, re-plan, list, shift the list, list the plan and then I plan the list. And it all LOOK PRETTY too. But then comes the part where I have to FOLLOW the list. That part is HARD. lol But I am trying!

Everything will fall into place!



call*me*kate said...

I truly hope you are able to adjust to your new schedule. I can relate here - I might start out with a schedule of sorts but have a lot of trouble staying with it. We just started school today, with a schedule of sorts - and it has worked so far! I am hoping for a successful week. I'll say a prayer for you to succeed!

Oh, thanks so much for your prayers and comments - means a lot!


P.S. I don't honestly think I could ever make friends with 5:45!

Drewe Llyn said...

Well, I get up at 5:30 every morning and walk 2.7 miles with my 17 year old daughter at 7:00. Are you impressed? Don't be. It goes down hill after that! LOL! I'm am the poster child for disorganization. Like you, I can do it on paper, but somehow I can't make it translate into real life. I guess it's because I don't schedule in all the interruptions from the phone ringing to someone needing me for something to unexpected illnesses or visitors. *sigh* You go girl! You can do it and inspire the rest of us!

carrie said...

I am right there with ya on this one. You know we've had some major change to deal with lately and I HATE that I have to be so structured with my time now. The day just goes too fast to mess around.

And while I am not working quite so late anymore, I still abhor getting up at 7:30 in order to get school done. I cannot even imagine being friends with 5:45 or whatever time you get up.

Growin' with it! said...

sure identify with this one! endurance is a word i am haunted by. and that whole "30 days to make a habit" saying...i can't wait out the daggone 30 days! best of luck...YOU can DO IT!

Emily said...

I really like you.

Michelle said...

I hate change too!

I make schedules out all the time! I never stick to them! Half the time I can't find them, which is why I am always making out new ones =P

You know you could always just hang out with the rest of us ~ ya know the 15% of us who do not conform to schedules and all.

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

Girl, you let me know how that 5.45 works out for ya. I don't even want to be acquainted with that time in the morning, much less friends with it. However, something tells me your spunky self will do just fine. :))

Love ya!