Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Prequel

Ok, I'm back with you again. Poor Mark had a horrendous sinus headache which caused him to be even more sick, if you get my drift. It's just that time of year, I suppose. He's feeling alright today, though, so thanks for asking/praying. :)

Before I go back into this (and oh, isn't it gorgeous?):



I must tell you what happened to me right before we left last Thursday. The enemy of our souls tried to take me out, y'all. I mean, he came to steal, KILL, and destroy.

Here is a little factoid about me if you don't already know it: I completely HATE frogs. I am so sorry if you are an amphibian lover, really I am, but those creepy creatures that just jump around willy-nilly FREAK me all the way out! I am not even kidding.

So there I was, minding my own business, trying to get out the door on our impromptu trip. Being the green thumb that I am (not), I thankfully remembered to give my flowers a nice, soaking drink since we would be gone for a few days. I walked outside and snatched up my watering can from the back porch where it resides, then I came into the kitchen to fill it up. I was desperately going through my packing list inside my mind, which is not a pretty thing, when all of a sudden SOMETHING JUMPED ON MY HAND.

Oh Lawsy, I am still traumatized.

Anyway. I looked down and what to my crazed, bugging-out eyes should appear? A little slimy, lime-green colored frog. And he was ready to pounce, I just KNEW IT. So, I started shaking my hand like a mad woman and shrieking at a pitch that would break glass. In what felt like 10 years, the little thing was launched off of my hand and onto the counter behind the sink where he just sat and stared at me.

Looking back now, it was probably because he had Shaken Froggie Syndrome, but whatever, because I'd be willing to bet a dollar to a doughnut that in only INCREASED his pounce-ability. I wasn't about to find out, though.

Mark was on the phone with his boss during this little "episode", who at this point, was absolutely SURE that I had been attacked by a pack of wild dogs. I screamed my man's name several times in a row to come save me, and I am almost positive that he rolled his eyes before he came running, but I'll will never really know for sure because mine had already retreated into the back of my skull due to the cardiac arrest that I was experiencing.

What else is there to say? Mark nonchalantly picked up the little tool of satan and put him back in his natural habitat while I fanned myself and tried to bring my blood pressure back down from stroke level.

Hallelujah! It is nothing short of a miracle that I am still sucking air, people, and I just thought you would want to know that. I am all about giving God His due glory.

Amen and Amen.



23 comments:

DeeDee said...

Oh Gayle...
I am so sorry - It sounds like something I would do -

But you word it sooooooooooo well.

I am in stitches and can't wait till a commercial so I can read this to the hubby.

Laughter does good like medicine :)
Blessings,
DeeDee

Krista said...

That was a pretty funny story. Sorry about your near stroke. I would have visited you in the hospital though! And brought you a book!

Speaking of book, thanks for the recommended one! Let me know when you get through reading it, I may just stop by your humble abode and pick it up!

Stay away from those frogs,
Krista

Lora Lynn @ Vitafamiliae said...

I don't mind frogs so much, but snakes make me curl up in a ball and suck my thumb. Hate. them.

glad you survived.

Growin' with it! said...

you are such a hoot!!!

Kent said...

Too funny! I feel the exact same way! My hubbie had to come home from downtown to rescue me from a baby lizard one time! Drew was just a few months old so I had no big kids to get him. I just had the willies even thinking about it. Frogs are evil. I looked up one day as I was showering and there he was--the little bug-eyed creature--on top of the shower head--about did me in!!! I still look up everytime I shower.

Reformed Grits said...

You are weird.

Way More Homemade said...

You have me in stitches. Always!

I must say you wouldn't survive fall around our house. Friday & Saturday evenings in September and into October are spent going on toad hunts around here.

But seriously, I am so glad that it wasn't like a poison dart frog or something... you really wouldn't have made it.

I will forever more pray Psalm 20:1 over you... “May the Lord answer you when you are in distress (over any manner of amphibian); may the name of the Lord protect you (from all hopping creatures).”

Amen and Amen!

~Donna

javamamma said...

I woulda screamed too. And hubby definitely woulda rolled his eyes. ;)

EEEEMommy said...

Thank you! I really needed this post! I love you! :)

call*me*kate said...

Just reading about that frog on your hand gave me the creeps (I shuddered involuntarily!) I would have reacted the same way.

Awhile back, I had a similar incident with one of my daughter's fish (you'd have to read that post to understand) so that feeling of panic came back to me in a flash while I was reading your post. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Yes, frogs are one of God's creatures but that doesn't mean you have to like it!

Glad you enjoyed your trip, though!

Kate

call*me*kate said...

Just reading about that frog on your hand gave me the creeps (I shuddered involuntarily!) I would have reacted the same way.

Awhile back, I had a similar incident with one of my daughter's fish (you'd have to read that post to understand) so that feeling of panic came back to me in a flash while I was reading your post. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Yes, frogs are one of God's creatures but that doesn't mean you have to like it!

Glad you enjoyed your trip, though!

Kate

Trista said...

This is me and mice. If I see one I either run for my life or jump on the nearest furniture and scream.

Glad to hear your hubby saved you from the spawn of Satan!

Renee said...

Oh please forgive me for laughing, I don't even know you other then the blogging world, but I could just see the whole event happening like I was there!

I’m so glad that you are fine (and no animals we harmed during this unpleasant experience – or you for that matter) but I’m more impressed with your determination to head back out into nature for your mountain vacation after this little episode! YOU GO GIRL!!

Michelle said...

eek! I HATE frogs too! And I would have reacted the same way

Shaken Froggie Syndrome ~ cracked me UP!

Halfmoon Girl said...

That was so funny- you described it so well! I could totally sympathize with you if I imagined that happening to me with a snake- though I may have grabbed a cleaver or something, or maybe I would have cowered in the corner and peed my pants...
Glad your knight in shining armor was there to protect you- the eye rolling part cracked me right up! Glad you had a great time on your vacation despite the near death experience before you left.

Emily said...

frogs? seriously? hahahahahahahahah. I always pictured you the tough southern mama. The kind that crunch frogs under their feet. :)

Heidi said...

You are too funny!! You make me laugh :) My creature of torture is mice! If I caught a glimpse of one in my house, I would leave immediately and not return until Jeph could set traps and then SHOW ME a dead mouse in a trap. I can't live with 'em. So, if I see a mouse, I might need to be callin on a few local friends to come hang out with when I get tired of walking around Target.

DeeDee said...

Hey Gayle,
I NEEEEEEEED you to come and add your sweet picture to my "followers" on the side bar.

And if you decide to add this to your blog- I will come and join you too!

:)
dd

carrie said...

you're crazy. I love frogs. I have a turtle in my kitchen right this minute.

Caroline said...

I won't tell you that my kids found frog eggs in our woods. I also won't tell you that they are raising the little tadpoles and have been watching them turn to froglets. I also won't tell you that they are in my laundry room.

That would totally gross you out and you might be my friend.

So as far you know...I only have dirty laundry in my laundry room...not twelve froglets swimming in a tank

Caroline said...

THAT should have been:

"you might NOT be my friend."

Doesn't make a lick o' sense the other way.

Not that any of this makes sense because I am tired.

melissajeffers said...

Gayle you could not get paid for anything more funny than this. Thanks for being you and making me cry laughing this week for a change. mj

Natalie @ I AM (not) said...

Frogs to you = junebugs to me.

EEEEEWWWWWW!